Peggy Brown, a retired poker dealer whom I\u2019ve known for some years as an upstanding and truthful sort, writes in that her 2003 Dodge Neon was in storage for nine months while she was out of state. <\/p>\n
When she got back, \u201cI needed to get it re-registered and get new plates for it.\u201d <\/p>\n
She stood in line at the DMV for her temporary permit so she could drive it out for a new smog check. So far so good. But then the battery died. <\/p>\n
\u201cA jump start got it running long enough to get it to Pep Boys for a replacement, $98 installed. Now we\u2019re in business, right? Wrong. <\/p>\n
\u201cDrove a while to warm up the engine, then stopped at Smog Busters, 3707 E. Flamingo. I told the attendant that I had just had the battery replaced, and that I was getting the smog check done so I could re-register my car. He said nothing, but proceeded with the test. <\/p>\n
\u201cSurprise! Overall Test Result: \u2018Not completed.\u2019 Why? As best I could understand it the car\u2019s computer doesn\u2019t respond correctly because it lost its settings, or something like that, when the battery was disconnected or dead. Cost: $6.99. <\/p>\n
\u201cI asked him what had to be done to fix the problem, and he told me I should go to DMV to get instructions for doing something called \u2018drive cycles\u2019 and that I would have to drive the car a certain way in order to get the computer to reset. When I asked what could cause the problem, he said, \u2018Replacing the battery would do that, because power was disconnected from the car\u2019s computer.\u2019 I asked him why he didn\u2019t tell me that at first,\u201d — Mrs. Brown had told the smog technician the battery had just been replaced, remember — \u201cand he just sort of shrugged.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cOh well. Trip Number two back to DMV. At the emission station behind the DMV building, we were told they knew exactly what the situation was, and went to their computer and printed out two pages of very detailed \u2018drive cycle\u2019 instructions. Along with them, he informed me that it was highly unlikely that I would be able to do the drive cycles myself, and handed me a printed list (10 pages, about 150 listings) of places I could go to get it done by a \u2018professional.\u2019 <\/p>\n
\u201cGreat. In talking with the man at DMV, I asked him why nobody had let me know about this (the people who changed the battery, or at least the guy at Smog Busters, so we wouldn\u2019t have had to make a completely wasted trip to get a smog check, and pay for it to boot.) His answer? \u201cThe way the law is written, he isn\u2019t allowed to \u2018communicate\u2019 with you.\u201d By this time, I was getting angry. <\/p>\n
\u201cTo get the flavor of the drive cycle instructions, here\u2019s an excerpt. They\u2019re amazing. Both pages of instructions are to be performed twice: <\/p>\n
\u201c \u20182003 Dodge Neon: SXT 2.0L 132HP … Notes: 1. This drive cycle is designed to simulate highway driving. 2. When instructed, vary speed smoothly. … <\/p>\n
\u201c \u2018STEPS: 1. Start the engine. Idle for 20 seconds. 2. Accelerate at part throttle to 30 mph. Cruise at 20-30 mph for 2 minutes. Stop the vehicle; idle for 40 seconds. <\/p>\n
\u201c \u20183. Accelerate at part throttle to 25 mph in 15 seconds. Cruise at 17-25 mph for 15 seconds. Accelerate to 40 mph. Cruise at 40-56 mph for 2 minutes. Decelerate to 0. Idle for 15 seconds. 4. Accelerate at part throttle 28-36 mph for 25 seconds. Decelerate to 0 in 15 seconds. Idle for 6 seconds. …\u2019 <\/p>\n
\u201cAnd it goes for 15 such steps on each of 2 pages, all to be done twice.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cI went home and began calling some of the places listed (car dealerships, repair shops, etc.) and was told by each one that it would cost \u2018about $100 to get it done.\u2019 \u201d <\/p>\n
Mrs. Brown provided me with that printout, on DMV letterhead. On it are her handwritten notes. One garage wanted $98, a seconds wanted $100, etc. <\/p>\n
\u201cSo now I\u2019m getting really angry,\u201d Mrs. Brown concludes. \u201cI\u2019m fuming. What kind of rip-off is this? All this just because my battery needed to be replaced? What\u2019s going on? What idiocy has the legislature concocted now, and for whose benefit? Just what poor people need in times of economic stress, another booby trap set for unsuspecting motorists whose batteries wear out. <\/p>\n
\u201cWhat devastating problem does this stupid law solve, anyway? Why should it cost me all this time and money and hassle to replace a battery in my car?\u201d <\/p>\n
I called the DMV to find out. <\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s true that the way the law is written they\u201d (the licensed smog check technicians) \u201ccan\u2019t tell you not to bother doing the smog check, the EPA has mandated it that way, because otherwise we wouldn\u2019t have a record of the failure rate,\u201d a DMV spokesman confirmed when I called last week.
\nThe first DMV spokesman I reached initially said \u201cThat\u2019s like half true. You do have to drive it around to get the computer to re-set. … But you don\u2019t have to pay a professional driver, I\u2019m sorry, that\u2019s some kind of scam.\u201d <\/p>\n
Maybe. But \u201cscam\u201d or not, once I got DMV Emissions Training Officer Hal Greene on the phone Wednesday, he pretty much confirmed Mrs. Brown\u2019s entire account. <\/p>\n
\u201cYes, we do give out that list, the DMV was following procedure here, and we recommend you take it to a qualified technician who knows how to run those drive cycles.\u201d <\/p>\n
But as it turns out, Mrs. Brown never did that. She drove the car around for a couple hours, and then took it to an AAMCO transmission shop managed by an acquaintance of hers. They hooked up their monitor to the car\u2019s onboard computer and told her, \u201cIt\u2019s fine; it\u2019ll pass.\u201d Which it promptly did. No \u201cprofessional driver.\u201d No following any intricate set of \u201cdrive cycles\u201d that would be likely to get you rear-ended in a hurry. <\/p>\n
That information didn\u2019t faze Mr. Greene. <\/p>\n
\u201cThe easiest ones to (reset) are domestic cars, and they tend to be the lowest priced cars,\u201d Mr. Greene explained. \u201cIt\u2019s on-board diagnostics. On vehicles \u201996 and above the vehicle is testing 11 major systems of the emission system while it\u2019s driving down the road under real driving conditions — it\u2019s about 95 percent better than tailpipe testing. The vehicle will notice (any) change that would increase emissions by one and a half times normal. … We download the information that the vehicle already has on itself.\u201d <\/p>\n
But \u201cThe technician doesn\u2019t know for sure it won\u2019t pass,\u201d Mr. Greene insists. \u201cSome early model cars just have five monitors to check, and three of them trip when you turn the key, and we\u2019ll let it pass with just those three engaged. But yes, state law does require them to run the test, they can\u2019t tell you you\u2019re going to fail. He has to run it.\u201d <\/p>\n
The onboard diagnostic computer is better than the old tailpipe emissions check, Mr. Greene insists, because the onboard computer system allows problems to be spotted \u201cbefore it costs more money to fix. So in point of fact to fix an OBD2 vehicle is less expensive than to wait till it shows up as a tailpipe problem.\u201d <\/p>\n
Yeah. But they\u2019re still going to charge you for a useless smog check even if you mention you\u2019ve just changed your battery. And they\u2019re still going to tell you down at the DMV that you\u2019re not going to be able to run through those complicated \u201cdrive cycles\u201d all by yourself — you\u2019d better call one of these 150 licensed garages and have a \u201cprofessional technician\u201d do it for $100. <\/p>\n
And it\u2019s still true that Mrs. Brown didn\u2019t spend that hundred bucks. She just drove her car around for a couple of hours, at which point it passed its second smog check with flying colors. <\/p>\n
But how many gullible folks don\u2019t know a friendly transmission shop manager who\u2019ll hook up their car for free and tell them \u201cIt\u2019ll pass?\u201d How many folks — in these tough times — are out the extra hundred bucks because they\u2019ve been told \u201conly a professional\u201d can get their \u201con board computers\u201d to turn themselves back on? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peggy Brown, a retired poker dealer whom I\u2019ve known for some years as an upstanding and truthful sort, writes in that her 2003 Dodge Neon was in storage for nine months while she was out of state. When she got back, \u201cI needed to get it re-registered and get new plates for it.\u201d She stood […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[27,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-extreme-green","category-transportation"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pWqFl-2w","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vinsuprynowicz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vinsuprynowicz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vinsuprynowicz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vinsuprynowicz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vinsuprynowicz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=156"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vinsuprynowicz.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vinsuprynowicz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vinsuprynowicz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vinsuprynowicz.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}