\u201cThe U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race,\u201d the Obama administration said in a Nov. 4 statement. <\/p>\n
Honest.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public\u2019s eye. The fact is we have no credible evidence of extraterrestrial presence here on Earth,\u201d according to the statement posted to the White House website and attributed to Phil Larson, research assistant at the Office of Science and Technology Policy. <\/p>\n
So Americans are expected to believe a government that proudly wears \u201ccover-up\u201d as its middle name isn\u2019t covering anything up … because they say so? <\/p>\n
The statement \u201cis the first time since this issue exploded in the public\u2019s mindset in 1947 that the executive branch has issued a formal position in writing on this issue,\u201d says Stephen Bassett, a physicist, researcher and Washington lobbyist who contends the government has long covered up the existence of Unidentified Flying Objects. <\/p>\n
Does this mean it\u2019s finally time to pack their tents and head home for those who believe there\u2019s an ongoing struggle for control of the earth between the relatively benign gray aliens and the larger, red variety who shelter inside the hollow earth? <\/p>\n
Does this mean the end of the line for the Little A\u2019Le\u2019Inn in peaceful Rachel, which has built a tourist trade from fans driving Route 375 — The Extraterrestrial Highway — looking for UFO activity in the town 25 miles northeast of the non-existent Area 51 military base? <\/p>\n
Will there not even be any more \u201cX Files\u201d re-runs?<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course not,\u201d says Bassett, who predictably predicts the White House disclosure will give him and others fresh opportunities to challenge government officials and pry out the real truth. <\/p>\n
Nor are they buying it in little Rachel. <\/p>\n
\u201cThe president is living proof that there\u2019s life outside Earth,\u201d says Sharon Taylor, a waitress at the Little A\u2019Le\u2019Inn, finally settling that pesky \u201cbirth certificate\u201d mystery. (Hint: Grover\u2019s Mill, N.J.) <\/p>\n
Turns out there\u2019s actually a reason for the Nov. 4 statement. President Barack Obama had promised that petitions gaining at least 5,000 signatures within 30 days would get a response. One, organized by Bassett and demanding the government \u201cformally acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence engaging the human race,\u201d had accumulated 12,078 signatures as of Nov. 7. <\/p>\n
(Of all the promises he\u2019s made, he chooses to keep THIS one?) <\/p>\n
Predictably, the threshold for an official petition response has since been bumped up to 25,000 signers. (Do we hear 100,000?) <\/p>\n
I always preferred the answer of the late Isaac Asimov. Asked if he believed in UFOs, he would respond, \u201cOf course. I also believe in UCOs. Until I get close enough to figure out what kind of bug it is, it\u2019s an Unidentified Crawling Object.\u201d <\/p>\n
I could reveal the location of the captured Gray Alien scientists — who aren\u2019t dead at all, of course. But pretty soon there\u2019d be FOIA requests for the oscillation fusion overthrusters they\u2019ve designed, allowing motor vehicles to run indefinitely on water and banana peels. Then someone would probably think to ask if I know where Elvis and Jesse Garon are hiding out, and where would our whole carbon-based economy be, then? <\/p>\n
Hey, Mr. Spaceman,
\nWon\u2019t you please take me along,
\nI won\u2019t do anything wrong.
\nHey, Mr. Spaceman,
\nWon\u2019t you please take me along for a ride? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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