If you get too cold I’ll tax the heat, if you take a walk I’ll tax your feet …
Asking politicians whether they have enough taxes yet is like asking a 10-year-old boy if he’s had enough ice cream and soda pop.
Wait a minute: could I have just stumbled on the germ of an idea, there? If Americans like to drink soda pop … of course! Why not hit the stuff with a hefty new federal tax?!
“A push for new taxes on soda, beer and wine to help pay for Americans’ health care is stirring up more than just the beverage industry,” The Associated Press reported this week. “Advertisers, corn refiners — even addiction treatment centers — have mobilized their lobbyists” to fight the plan.
At the risk of belaboring the obvious, read it again. When you go to pay your doctor’s bill, would it be a help to find MORE money remaining in your bank account and wallet, or LESS money? So how can TAXING more money out of our wallets, bank accounts and grocery bills “help us pay for our health care”?
Unless, of course, the goal is to put every American on the dole. But if we were all on the dole … who would be left to pay the taxes?
The federal government already taxes a bottle of wine at the rate of 21 cents, a six-pack of beer at 33 cents, and a fifth of hard liquor at $2.14 per fifth of hard liquor — to which you can generally add hefty state and local taxes.
The rationale is that drinking such stuff is optional, a “luxury” — and bad for us, anyway.
I’d suggest taxing adultery, potato chips, illegal drugs, and the couches that couch potatoes sit on, if we weren’t worried about giving them ideas.
“The Senate Finance Committee is considering raising taxes on alcohol and imposing a new levy on soda and other naturally sweetened drinks to help pay for overhauling health care,” The AP reports. “The committee calls them ‘lifestyle tax proposals,’ saying the levies would slow sales of unhealthy products that contribute to rising medical costs.
Besides alcohol, drinks with sugar, high fructose corn syrup and similar sweeteners would be targeted, though diet drinks with artificial sweeteners would not.
Um … what? Aspartame and sodium saccharin are suddenly supposed to be really good for us, whereas — say — sugar cane juice and honey are not?
Isn’t that like taxing cotton and linen but not polyester?
(Shhh! We just did it again, didn’t we?)
For that matter, have you looked at a packet of “Sweet ’n Low” lately? What’s the main ingredient, the stuff now going by the misleading label moniker “nutritive dextrose”? Could that possibly be … sugar?
“Are they going to hit couch manufacturers?” jokes Neil Trautwein, health care lobbyist for the National Retail Federation, which opposes the plan and whose members include fast-food restaurants. (Neil: Shhh! Stop giving them ideas!) “School districts that have canceled physical education?”
Dairy farmers and milk processors are also fighting the move, since chocolate milk would be hit. So to are grocers, food marketers, vending machine operators, and the Corn Refiners Association, whose companies make sweet syrups that would be taxed.
(The point of the Associated Press article was how many disparate interests end up lobbying for or against a federal bill. They writers don’t ever seem to get the real point: if the Congress would limit itself to legislating on that small number of matters itemized to be under its purview in the Constitution, most of these lobbyists could go home.)
The American Hospital Association, for example, has voiced support for “tax incentives on lifestyle-related choices,” though the American Medical Association remains more cautious, backing higher alcohol levies but standing silent on taxing sweetened drinks.
Oh, come on, doctors. The irony would be delicious. Seventy-five years after the do-gooders prevailed upon the Coca-Cola company to take the namesake coca out of their cola, soda pop would be taxed and cocaine would not, leading some consumers to switch from suddenly pricier soda pop back to pure, refined … what?
Recent history is moderately encouraging. Maine voters rejected a soft drink tax last November, and New York Gov. David Paterson dropped a proposed tax on sodas earlier this year. But give them time. No idea is bad enough not to get a try-out in Washington City, eventually.