Vin Suprynowicz

It seemed so easy. No need to wait for dull-witted consumers to decide on their own, based on free-market price signals, to make changes in their household fixtures and behavior that might save them some money on their gasoline, water, and electric bills.

That could take forever! Instead, an elite blessed with vastly superior wisdom and knowledge and wisdom simply convinced the state and federal legislatures to issue edicts. “Stroke of the pen; law of the land; kinda cool!” as one of Bill Clinton’s viziers once enthused.

And how’s it working out?

The eco-geniuses dictated all America would use smaller toilet tanks, often requiring two flushes to do what was once accomplished by one. The result? Due to reduced water-flows, San Francisco’s sanitary sewers are now increasingly clogged with a noisome brown sludge. Cost to rectify? Unknown.

A few years back, the green gurus convinced Congress to progressively ban Tom Edison’s incandescent light bulbs in favor of more “energy efficient” compact fluorescents, or “CFLs.” They don’t work in dimmer switches. And they’re made in China, while the U.S. factories that made the kind of bulbs most people prefer are shutting down, throwing more American workers on the dole.

If you break one of the new bulbs you now face a minor ecological disaster, since they contain toxic mercury vapor. Turns out they’re also greatly more expensive — you’ll find out just how expensive when the “transitional” federal subsidies run out.

And as for their greatest advertised advantage — longevity — guess what?

Those assertions were based on CFLs that never got turned off. Turns out if you switch them on and off when you enter and leave the room, most of the reported longevity advantage disappears.

Even the congressional sponsor of the “ban the bulb” law now says he’d vote for repeal.

Finally, take ethanol: Please.

The scheme was to reduce petroleum use — and air pollution — by forcing American motorists to burn gasoline adulterated with corn whisky.

They knew at the start our fuel pumps would corrode faster on this mix than on gasoline alone. It also turned out the plan involved destroying more wildlife habitat to grow more corn on marginal lands, and using more pesticide and irrigation water, as well.

Then, it turned out Corporate Agriculture uses more fossil fuels in their farm tractors and the trucks that haul the corn to the refineries than anyone ever saved at the pump.

It would have saved American motorists money, at least, if fuel blenders had been allowed to import cheaper ethanol from Brazil. But Big Agriculture wouldn’t allow that.

And because corn is being burned in our gas tanks instead of being exported to feed the hungry masses — or even pigs and cattle — corn prices have doubles and other food prices have been driven up, world-wide. Food shortages contributed to revolutions in Egypt and elsewhere. Outcomes still unknown.

Now comes the General Accounting Office, which reported March 1 the ethanol industry no longer needs a subsidy, since refiners are required to use the biofuel no matter what it costs. The GAO — investigative arm of Congress — lists the 45-cent-per-gallon tax credit among wasteful programs that could be eliminated to help address the nation’s fiscal problems.

The tax credit, which is due to expire at the end of the year, will cost the government $5.4 billion this year, and $6.75 billion by 2015 if the credit is extended.

Eliminate the tax credit, by all means. The only problem with the GAO’s calculus is that it assumes the “gotta use ethanol” mandate will itself remain in force.

For heaven’s sake, even the Clown Price of Global Warming and other “Earth in the Lurch” fantasies, Al Gore — who lives in a huge and brightly lit-up mansion funded in part by his father’s huge holdings in Occidental Oil — now says the ethanol mandates were a mistake and should be repealed.

Where in the Constitution does the Congress pretend to find any power to force us to use inadequate toilets, to buy costly Chinese light bulbs few people want, or to burn bourbon in our cars?