A rousing round of applause, please, for the little lady who made it all possible . . .

10:45 p.m. Eastern Time Tuesday, Nov. 3, 2020 — the relatively early hour being explained by the fact that the winner had courteously waited for the polls to close in California before striding to the stage to thank the electorate for his 44-state Electoral victory, his 442 Electoral votes representing the greatest American electoral sweep since Ronald Reagan’s twin landslides, nearly four decades previous.

“Thank you. Thank you America, greatest country in the world,” says Donald Trump, saluting Lee Greenwood as the Country singer winds up his famous anthem. “Didn’t take quite as long, this time, did it? No, no, it’s been a hard road and I appreciate the work of all those who have been out there working to make this happen. And I am especially humbled and appreciative of all those who braved the abuse and went to the polls ansd voted to Keep America Great.

“But before I go on, I want to bring up here on stage with us tonight a woman who may be a little bit of a surprise to you, the woman who — second only to our lovely First Lady, we can’t forget her — the woman who as much as anyone else on our team helped to make this victory possible.

“You know, when I first asked if we couldn’t find some way to drive the Democrat Party off the cliff — someone who was willing to work with us to discredit Bernie and Sandy’s new Democrat Socialist Party so completely that they wouldn’t be able to come back and destroy all our good work after 2024, to help us guarantee no Democrat would win national office again for 20 years — it was pretty much just a daydream, just an offhand thought.

“So when Brad Parscale came to me and said he’d been contacted by someone who was actually offering to make it happen, as long as the price was right, I was a little skeptical, I’ll tell you. But I said ‘OK, I’ll take the meeting.’

“So we sat down and she was very confident, she said she could make it happen. I asked her how. She said, ‘Well, if you help me get two more years as Speaker of the House, with guaranteed immunity from prosecution for all those millions in ‘insider’ real estate profits Paul and I have been salting away all these years, in exchange for that grant of immunity, instead of passing any legislation — ANY legislation — that would actually help the American people, we’ll spend the entire first year impeaching you.’

“I said ‘I don’t know, Nancy. That sounds a little dangerous. What if it goes through?”

“‘No, no, no,’ she said, very sure of herself. ‘I’ll put it in the hands of Gerry Nadler, a grumpy moron who looks like he ought to be playing The Penguin in a Batman movie, and that strutting pipsqueak Adam Schiff, who likes to, how shall I put it, take promising young boys under his wing. Those two twits couldn’t manage a lemonade stand. They’ll make it look like we’ve brought back the Star Chamber from the Spanish Inquisition. They’ll impeach you, a real railroad job, the Republican Senate will acquit, and it will be such an obvious sham that your approval ratings will go UP. And you can take that to the bank.’

“It was a daring plan, I had to admit. But then I had to ask, ‘That’s fine for your first year, Nancy, but what about the election year, 2020?’

“‘Listen Trump,’ she said — she always calls me ‘Trump,’ it’s kind of endearing, really — ‘Listen Trump, by then some kind of crisis will come up, I guarantee you, another Mooslim terror attack, maybe some kind of contagious epidemic, I don’t know. You and the Senate Republicans put together an emergency spending bill to get the American economy back on its feet, and I’ll ride in at the last minute in my private jet like the Wicked Witch of the West, order my Democrat sheep to refuse to pass the thing unless you let us throw in universal mail-in voting by dead people and illegal aliens, unlimited taxpayer-funded abortions, a $15 minimum wage that’ll throw hundreds of thousands of young kids out of work, huge windmill subsidies, huge performing arts subsidies, amnesty for all the wetbacks, a billion dollars to spread around among every mayor and governor who agrees to defy our duly enacted Immigration laws, restrictions on cow flatulence, a requirement that the airlines can’t use any more fossil fuel — can you imagine ordering them to invent electric airplanes? Hee-haw! — maybe even new federal quotas so every American corporation has to place more unqualified racial minorities and women and openly gay males on its board of directors, retards and people with Tourette Syndrome, artists and poets who don’t know or care anything about business or profits. Maybe ballet dancers and lesbian performance artists. Yeah, I like that . . .’

“‘Nancy.’ I said, and believe me, I was trying not to laugh. ‘You’d really go that far? The stock market collapsing, millions of people out of work, and you’d refuse to help unless we approved your entire Socialist wish list?’

“‘A thousand pages, at least.’ she said. ‘Take ’em a week just to read the damn thing. They’ll have to pass it just to find out what’s in it!’

“Nancy, your own party would have your head on the chopping block. Why, it would destroy the credibility of the Democrat Party for . . .’

“‘Yep. For twenty years. I thought that’s what you wanted, Trump. But I can do it . . . providing the price is right.’

“So without further ado, let’s bring her up, the secret agent who saved America by helping to make this landslide possible, won’t you put your hands together now and join me in a rousing round of applause for our new Wicked Witch of the West, not Margaret Hamilton from the old Judy Garland movie, but the new one, and who could have played the role better? Our beloved Speaker of the House, now retiring undefeated, MAGA secret agent Mrs. Nancy Pelosi! . . .”

3 Comments to “A rousing round of applause, please, for the little lady who made it all possible . . .”

  1. v Says:

    Well,,,,,, we can only wish …………………………….

  2. Brett Middleton Says:

    And now the little lady has just tried to pull off the dangerous and unprecedented move of voting on a piece of legislation — a very expensive, pork-laden piece — in the absence of a quorum, calling for a voice vote to disguise what they were up to. Fortunately, Rep. Massie put a halt to the shenanigan. Unfortunately, Trump, instead of hailing the man as a Republican hero, called for him to be kicked out of the Republican party. WTH?? Is the Constitution not being shredded enough that we need to throw the need for a quorum out the window as well? The next step would be the House and Senate sending bills out to the floor at midnight with one or two trustworthy, nameless pawns in the chamber to lackadaisically mumble “aye” before slinking off into the night.

  3. v Says:

    brett, i offer a counter assessment, this bill needed to pass, and while what massie did, was in normal times required, We Are Not In Normal Times ! because of that bill passing trump now controls (thru this bill) the federal reserve, among other things and can hopefully in the end of all this, dump all of the national debt on to the FED and then cut it loose from our quasi-governmental structure, no more paying a private company interest payments to manage our national currency, among other things in that bill – heres a good breakdown on that front ,, https://finance.yahoo.com/news/feds-cure-risks-being-worse-110052807.html
    donald trump is now the defacto fed chairman and could quite possibly be taking us to the gold standard, with no more national debt to continue our/childrens slavery to a system that does not have their best interests in mind. heres a link to a site i suggest you read regularly
    this site has been pretty close to dead on about whats been going on,,and what could happen next , trump has done much for this country in the short time hes been in office , i trust he will continue,
    this among many other things, like trump appointing mike huckabee and jon voight to the kennady center Board Of Directors, to change the culture in the kennady center,, hopefully he will continue to appoint like minded americans to these positions, if past is any predictor of future, then we might have someone like ted nugent being appointed next,,
    Remember We Are Not In Normal Times
    and we need someone to put country first , over party, over ideology, at this point i have total trust in trump to put country first, and at this point i have total certainty that the established parties both D&R DONT
    heres a little example of what the Dems are prepared to do to the american people to get AND keep total control !
    somehow after screaming about masks !!!!! the SEIU union Finds 39 million !!!! THIRTY NINE MILLION n95 face masks ,,
    they purposefully hoarded 10s of millions of masks to create shortages to harm trump thru the people who would get sick because of a lack of masks
    they will stoop to the lowest forms of deceit to achieve their goals

    see JFKs speech
    about the threats faced by this country by determined foes